Colossal is the kind of movie that plays at Sundance and should never be allowed to make it out. The kind of movie that thinks that a catchy hook can pass for narrative, that quirkiness can pass for substance. It’s a movie that longs to satirize while seemingly not understanding the definition of satire. It aspires to be silly but in every aching bone in its body it is a serious film – it wants to be the very monster/action movie that it so cheekily seems to be taking down. The movie contradicts itself down to the last moment, filled with performances by actors who seem to playing parts in different kinds of movies. When you get a leading actress as charming and talented as Anne Hathaway it seems almost criminal to limit her as much as Colossal does, especially when you consider how clever Colossal presents itself on the surface.

Hathaway plays Gloria, an alcoholic party girl who gets thrown out of her Manhattan apartment by her uptight boyfriend Tim (Dan Stevens), who seems to have little understanding or empathy of Gloria’s condition. He both acknowledges that she has a problem that requires professional help, then subsequently recuses himself of any responsibility or participation in helping her acquire that help. Gloria moves back to her suburban hometown where she’s reintroduced to a former elementary school acquaintance, Oliver (Jason Sudeikis). Oliver runs a local bar in which he hangs with his deadbeat friends, Garth (Tim Blake Nelson) and Joel (Austin Stowell). The whole world is thrown for a loop when a giant reptilian monster begins randomly attacking South Korea, but when Gloria realizes that preposterously she is the one who has control over the monster’s actions, her own life is thrown into even more of a tailspin than it already was.

I understand that Colossal probably didn’t have the budget to spend too much time with the fierce monster portion of its story, but I don’t understand the asinine plot that the film sticks the audience with in its downtime. The film’s screenplay attempts commentary on how the dynamics of gender has placed Gloria in her predicament, but the film has as much of a grasp on the concepts of misogyny as Crash did on race. Its more interested in male indignation and patriarchal cruelty than it is in examining female power constructs, and for a film that aspires toward a feminist ideals, it doesn’t even pass the Bechdel test. Hathaway has her moments, and she still strikes me as a remarkably watchable actress (that Hathaway and Sudeikis are both cast so against type is a nice wrinkle that the film does not take advantage of), but she defaults to simpler notes throughout this film because those are the only notes that writer/director Nacho Vigalondo gives her to play.

Vigalondo’s Colossal really makes you appreciate Jordan Peele’s Get Out even more. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Peele’s film but at least that film had a defined purpose. It did not meander into complicated sociological issues seemingly just for the hell of it. It’d be almost fine if the movie succeeded as an action monster movie, but it fails on that end too. It’s amazing that a science fiction film that has so shabbily crafted its metaphysical rules for its centerpiece transformations then can’t even have the discipline to follow said rules. I don’t feel like we’re asking for much effort here. This is a bad film that is hardly propped up by a lead performance by an actress that is so obviously overqualified for the role its disappointing to watch. There are worse movies, and my ire may stem from the fact that Colossal could have (and should have) been so much more. Promotion for this film promises a goofy romp, and I’ll give Colossal credit for attempting something more, but its failure in execution makes it a colossal waste of time.

 

Written and Directed by Nacho Vigalondo